I Think About My Dad a Lot More These Days

I told Sheryl this morning that my dreams last night were filled with people who were gone. I talked to my Grandpa O’Neill, my mom’s dad, a bunch at some sort of bingo thing in the basement of a church. Pop — that’s what we called my dad’s dad — was walking on a street. My father-in-law, Howard, handed me a newspaper at some sort of cabin were were in. And my dad was in his policeman’s uniform.

I’m not going to read anything into those dreams. They were very nice and comforting, not scary or some premonition. In fact, in the last couple of years I’ve had a lot of dreams about my dad. Funny thing is that he’s been dead for over 20 years. I have only a few pictures of him, mostly when he was sick toward his last days. But when I dream of him, he’s robust, smiley, and probably about my age now. If that were the case, I’d be 12 or so, however I’m an adult and so is he. We don’t talk much, he’s just there.

Sometimes that’s good enough for a dad. They’re always there even when they’re not. That works for me this Father’s Day.

Posted on June 15, 2008
Filed Under Frank's World | Comments

Comments

  • JT
    Thanks for a nice Father's Day post Frank. I appreciate having both my Dad and Father-in-Law with me today.

    I have heard you speak of your Dad a lot over the years. I wish I had known him better. I only know him through you as a friend, colleague and from a distance, watching you as a Dad. He must have been very special.

    Tim Russert's sudden death just before the holiday, I think have a lot of us thinking.
  • JT, isn't it the truth about Tim Russert? He was only 10 years older than me.

    You're having a lucky day today. The good news is that even when people are gone the memories linger. I like that. My dad was one of those guys from the Greatest Generation. I still like to think about that and am finding myself more like him as I age.
  • Tami
    Frank - Father's day is always emotional. My dad's been gone since 1987. In my dreams, like yours, he's just there, like he should be, like he always was. I think the hardest part for me is that he never knew my kids or sadder yet that my kids never knew him. I think of Howard on this day too. But today, instead of being sad I'm going to celebrate all the father's that went before and all the great ones that are here with us still. So to you, David and all the dad's out there HAPPY FATHER'S day.
  • Tami, your dad and mine were gone at the same time. Isn't it funny how those memories still stay. I feel the same as you that my guys didn't get to know my dad. I was lucky that my grandparents lived a long time. My dad's dad, Pop, was born in 1888, so he was already old when I was born in 1959. He lived until I was a teenager and I always felt lucky to know him.

    Today's a happy day. Thanks for the good wishes.
  • Frank,
    Some people say that when you dream of the dead, it is their (the departed's) way of letting you know that everything is OK. Other's claim it is just wish fulfillment dreaming ... whatever the case, I know how it feels. I am lucky enough to still have my dad, but I dream of other relatives and friends that have shuffled off this mortal coil.

    I am sure if your dad were around, he'd be very proud of you and your brood!
  • Thanks, Pax. I like the idea that people are saying it's okay. That makes me some kind of happy.
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