I Smell a Rat

by Frank Roche on July 17, 2008

Ugh…I hated Willard. Wanted to run the Rat King through in The Nutcracker. And especially don’t like to look out my living room window at the bird feeder and see a Norway rat the size of a Chihuahua chewing on birdseed. I freaked.

This is our annus horribilis rodentia. We spent over $1,000 eradicating squirrels from our attic. (They’ve returned.) Now we’re the only people in the suburbs with rats in their yard. What we found out — after spending $652 to have traps and poison set around the yard — is that rats like the same things that birds do: shelter, water and birdseed. We’ve been putting out 20lbs of birdseed a week. Now I find out that some of that is going to the skeeziest animals on the planet.

I’m creeped out. What’s next? Porcupines? Capybara? There are 2,277 species of rodents. The way it’s going, we’re going to spend our retirement money keeping them out of our yard and attic.

  • http://paxromano.blogspot.com/ PaxRomano

    Just sing this and you’ll feel better.

    “Ben, the two of us need look no more.
    We both found what we were looking for.
    With a friend to call my own,
    I’ll never be alone,
    And you my friend will see,
    You’ve got a friend in me….”

  • Pax Romano

    Just sing this and you’ll feel better.

    “Ben, the two of us need look no more.
    We both found what we were looking for.
    With a friend to call my own,
    I’ll never be alone,
    And you my friend will see,
    You’ve got a friend in me….”

  • http://hodgepodgery.blogspot.com/ Marvin

    Sounds like it’s time to introduce predators into suburbia. A boa or two would help. Your neighbor will love it.

  • http://hodgepodgery.blogspot.com/ Marvin

    Sounds like it’s time to introduce predators into suburbia. A boa or two would help. Your neighbor will love it.

  • http://www.knowhr.com/blog Frank

    Marvin, you have that exactly right. We have a fox that lives up on the hill, but I’m afraid he’s overrun. We have deer wrecking our trees and eating my tomatoes, all kinds of varmints, and no predators to speak of. Not even a frigging garter snake for crying out loud. Yep, a couple of boas would do the trick…and I’m only half kidding. This is what happens to ecosystems that are out of whack. I’ll have to think about that…hmmm.

  • Frank

    Marvin, you have that exactly right. We have a fox that lives up on the hill, but I’m afraid he’s overrun. We have deer wrecking our trees and eating my tomatoes, all kinds of varmints, and no predators to speak of. Not even a frigging garter snake for crying out loud. Yep, a couple of boas would do the trick…and I’m only half kidding. This is what happens to ecosystems that are out of whack. I’ll have to think about that…hmmm.

  • http://www.knowhr.com/blog Frank

    Pax…lol…that Michael Jackson tune is going through my head already. It’s creepy…and so is seeing a rat on my deck. Hell, I thought that was a city thing…now they’re on my deck. It can’t be long until they end up somewhere bad, like in my garage…or house. Ugh!

  • Frank

    Pax…lol…that Michael Jackson tune is going through my head already. It’s creepy…and so is seeing a rat on my deck. Hell, I thought that was a city thing…now they’re on my deck. It can’t be long until they end up somewhere bad, like in my garage…or house. Ugh!

  • http://www.blatherskiteblog.com/ CraftyMoni

    ewwww! I would totally freak!

  • http://blatherskiteblog.com Moni

    ewwww! I would totally freak!

  • Merci

    20 lbs of bird seed per week is a HUGE amount, in my experience with feeding birds.

    A nice bobcat or two could help the fox out. You could try planting some lavender near the feeders. I don’t think they like the smell. Cedar chips might help, too, though they might put off the ground feeding birds, as well.

  • Merci

    20 lbs of bird seed per week is a HUGE amount, in my experience with feeding birds.

    A nice bobcat or two could help the fox out. You could try planting some lavender near the feeders. I don’t think they like the smell. Cedar chips might help, too, though they might put off the ground feeding birds, as well.

  • http://pinkybear.blogspot.com Pinky Bear

    The two legged rats scare me, the ones in Washington!

  • http://pinkybear.blogspot.com Pinky Bear

    The two legged rats scare me, the ones in Washington!

  • http://www.knowhr.com/blog Frank

    Moni, I know…I swear, I even hesitated writing this because it makes me think I sound like I’m living in a garbage dump. It’s so gross.

    Merci, it is a lot? Hmmm…I guess I should have thought about that…I know we have a TON of birds…but guess what, now we have rats. Ugh.

    Pinky Bear, yeah, those D.C. rats are the worst, but I have to say, at least THEY are not on my deck. They super gross me out. Yikes…I’m still freaked about it.

  • Frank

    Moni, I know…I swear, I even hesitated writing this because it makes me think I sound like I’m living in a garbage dump. It’s so gross.

    Merci, it is a lot? Hmmm…I guess I should have thought about that…I know we have a TON of birds…but guess what, now we have rats. Ugh.

    Pinky Bear, yeah, those D.C. rats are the worst, but I have to say, at least THEY are not on my deck. They super gross me out. Yikes…I’m still freaked about it.

  • The Tuna

    Remember I told you I had to take down my bird feeder for the same reason. I’ve eliminated the rodents but now our area is under attack from the Japanese beetle which is stripping the leaves off much of the shrubs, and the emerald ash borer which is wiping out the Ash trees, and of course my best tree is an ash.

  • The Tuna

    Remember I told you I had to take down my bird feeder for the same reason. I’ve eliminated the rodents but now our area is under attack from the Japanese beetle which is stripping the leaves off much of the shrubs, and the emerald ash borer which is wiping out the Ash trees, and of course my best tree is an ash.

  • http://www.knowhr.com/blog Frank

    Tuna, I do remember…it’s just so creepy. I took down the feeders near the house…have one about 50 feet out in the yard…I’m afraid I’m gonna have to get rid of that one too. Creepy.

    Ugh about the beetles and ash borer. How nuts is that? And yes, of course it goes after your best tree. That kind of stuff makes me want to cry.

  • Frank

    Tuna, I do remember…it’s just so creepy. I took down the feeders near the house…have one about 50 feet out in the yard…I’m afraid I’m gonna have to get rid of that one too. Creepy.

    Ugh about the beetles and ash borer. How nuts is that? And yes, of course it goes after your best tree. That kind of stuff makes me want to cry.

  • Sheryl Roche

    Ok – I have to weigh in before my husband goes completely nuts – NO BOA’s!
    Rick – milky spore really helps eliminate the Japanese Beetles. We have been getting treated for a couple of years by a professional company and the trees and roses are almost beetle free.

  • Sheryl Roche

    Ok – I have to weigh in before my husband goes completely nuts – NO BOA’s!
    Rick – milky spore really helps eliminate the Japanese Beetles. We have been getting treated for a couple of years by a professional company and the trees and roses are almost beetle free.

  • http://hodgepodgery.blogspot.com/ Marvin

    Sheryl: Perhaps a few black rat snakes then? Our native constrictors are better adapted to your winters anyway. :-)

  • http://hodgepodgery.blogspot.com/ Marvin

    Sheryl: Perhaps a few black rat snakes then? Our native constrictors are better adapted to your winters anyway. :-)

  • http://dragonballyee.com/blog albert

    no boa? how about a python? my brother had a 6′ burmese python. it rocked.

    also, gross. rats! i recently finished Robert Sullivan’s ‘Rats’ book where he studied the life of some NYC rats which led him across the country seeking out rat experts. creepy and fascinating at once. brooklyn’s rats were the heartiest.

  • http://dragonballyee.com/blog albert

    no boa? how about a python? my brother had a 6′ burmese python. it rocked.

    also, gross. rats! i recently finished Robert Sullivan’s ‘Rats’ book where he studied the life of some NYC rats which led him across the country seeking out rat experts. creepy and fascinating at once. brooklyn’s rats were the heartiest.

  • http://www.knowhr.com/blog Frank

    Albert, snakes have been voted down at our house. (I’d still like to sneak some in…we need some predators.)

    I’ll have to read Sullivan’s book. I’m going to be prepared to be grossed out again. Ick.

  • Frank

    Albert, snakes have been voted down at our house. (I’d still like to sneak some in…we need some predators.)

    I’ll have to read Sullivan’s book. I’m going to be prepared to be grossed out again. Ick.

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