Treadmill Hint #13: Walk Straight

Here’s a lesson I learned today: When you’re walking on a treadmill, walk straight. Don’t look to the side, wipe your face, look forward, and forget that your left foot is crossing your right foot while the treadmill is coming at you at 4 mph. Know why?

Treadmills are just giant belt sanders. And when the fat man goes down and his left leg gets jammed at the back of the treadmill while it’s zooming, it’s gonna be Treadmill 1, Frankie 0.

I lost some major skin on my shinbone. Fortunately, I was able to catch myself with my arms and hoist myself back up. Otherwise, that hematoma would have been on my face. I’m sure I provided plenty of giggles to the beautiful people, who already know treadmill hint #13: walk straight. And never get on a treadmill next to the big guy.

Posted on August 19, 2008
Filed Under Fitness | Comments

Comments

  • That looks painful, but the telling is hilarious. I have a bruised shin myself after a particularly violent game of beach soccer last Saturday. I did score four goals and was able to run 13 miles Sunday morning, so it wasn't all bad.
  • Man, that's bad news...glad you've been able to keep the mileage up. I was happy to read about your breakthrough run...I'm still waiting for that...it's going to take me a lot longer. And now I have a built-in excuse...or at least I did. ;-)
  • It actually looks worse now. But I can deal with it. I felt like a complete schlub doing that...it scared everyone in the gym. And I'm sure some had to hold in their snickering...I laughed, too.
  • Frank, you really have to stop referring to yourself as the fat man/big guy. I don't want you to get a complex.

    Anyways, size is not the issue. I have been thrown off a treadmill more than once, which I will admit in your blog but not mine.

    In my case it is a combination of lack of coordination and treadmill boredom.
  • Rick, well, I'm realistic. But I'm working on being a Lesser Fatman...Sheryl's seeing to that. I'm busting my ass...and now, I just lost a couple of ounces of skin...weight loss is weight loss. LOL.

    Zoiks, that was my first time slipping off. I can see how when I get bored it can happen. I might have to start wearing the little cutoff switch...that's a sure sign of a loser. ;-)
  • oooh. Ouch!!
  • Moni, I have tell you, it got worse. I dunno why, but I guess that lack of skin caught up to me. I looks awful tonight. What a bonehead I am.
  • Frank, this is nature's way of telling you to get off the treadmill and go eat some ice cream! I mean you never hear of someone getting hurt while partaking of a banana split, or sucking down a vanilla milk shake, now do ya???

    ;)
  • Pax, that's been my philosophy for a couple of years. I used to be a gym rat in my middle 30s...got some kind of bulked up. Now i'm just bulky. But you're right, you don't lose skin with a vanilla malt. ;-)
  • Tami
    Ouch! The photo of your shin made me shudder! However, the new photo of you and the boys made me smile...what a handsome trio! We're moving the "taller" of our to boys in to the dorm at University of Iowa today..mama bear may have swollen eyes this afternoon!
  • Tami, wow, that's a momentous day. Very cool that the big guy is going to I-O-W-A! but I can imagine how funny that feels.

    Thanks about that pic...we were having fun when Sheryl snapped that one. It was good. The shin...less so.
  • Steve
    Another helpful hint (speaking from personal experience) along with putting the left foot in front of the right...make sure you keep you feet on the moving "belt sander" portion of that particular instrument of pain…the side portions don’t move and stepping on that area will cause you to unexpectedly pitch forward with a grace that is usually reserved for such serious shows such as “America’s Funniest Viedos” and leave you with a reminder as you currently have…luckily I was the only one in the gym at the time so I got savor the embarrassment all to myself…I have since moved to an equally insidious apparatus (the elliptical machine) it has a lower start value for demonstrations of elegance and style but a higher chance of a more perfect execution…I think a fall from the treadmill is a mandatory .8 deduction…
  • Steve, I'm deadly afraid of the elliptical machine. If I can do that much damage on the treadmill, I can just imagine what a bad step on that machine would be.

    I wish that no one was there to see me grind myself, alas, I was a video camera away from being on YouTube.
  • The Tuna
    That's some nice road rash you got. I find the eliptical easier in the sence that I don't have to focus on staying centered like I do on the dreadmill.
  • Dude, it's not legit road rash...and now I'm freaking about having some kind of flesh eating bacteria...that thing is now some kind of infected.

    Well, I may have to try out the elliptical...I have to say that I've tried a couple times, but can't get the hang of it....i sit there and just loop them at the bottom. Crazy...but I'm going to have to try it because I'm too uncoordinated on the other thing.
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