The Death of Coffee

[Photo credit: The Delete Bin]

Once upon a time I used to drink coffee with cream and sugar. Emphasis on cream and sugar. Mostly, I drank coffee-flavored sweet milk. That was a long time ago. Here’s the math at present, and why I can see the death of coffee.

Coffee + cream + sugar = Pure joy
Coffee + cream = General happiness
Decaffeinated coffee + cream = Some form of happiness
Decaffeinated coffee + nothing = Bitter, awful tasting swill

Here’s how I got here: A few years ago, Sheryl suggested that I should get off of sugared sodas and coffee. With the encroaching pounds I was packing on, I agreed. At first, I hated Diet Pepsi, and even worse, coffee with no sugar. But I got used to it. (No appreciable weight loss, btw. Just the opposite.)

Then the caffeine. Another of Sheryl’s suggestions. I went through the worst withdrawal symptoms for a couple of weeks, then I was cured of my addiction. Now it’s milk (or cream) in my coffee. It’s not worth the calories. And that leads me to The Death of Coffee.

I’m going to put coffee into the hamburger camp. I don’t need it. It’s bitter. It’s expensive. And I like tea more, especially when I don’t use milk. Coffee, I hardly knew ya.

I’ll lament later about all the things I end up giving up. Here’s one of my favorite quotes (author unknown): Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

Posted on September 25, 2008
Filed Under Food | Comments

Comments

  • pamslim
    Your headline struck fear in my heart.

    So I took another swig of my strong, black coffee.

    Your determination is admirable!

    Good luck giving it up. It is my last official vice, so it may take awhile to pry the warm cup from my cold hands.

    :)
    -Pam
  • Pam, perish the thought, huh? I've been a coffee drinker for a long while, but I think I've tipped my last cup. At this point without caffeine and milk, there's not much left. It's kind of like beer without alcohol...no way I would have ever starting drinking that nasty stuff if it didn't make me happy. ;-)

    Funny about your cold hands...lol.
  • Frank...you're a brave man, but I agree with you on your main point: without caffeine coffee is simply not coffee. It's neutered.

    In my life, my healthiest times have been when I keep a regular "coffee schedule" - as goofy as that sounds. It acts as sort of a limiter for me and keeps me on a routine, acting as a better alternative to snacking, sugars, etc. A nice hot cup of quality coffee in the middle of the afternoon is my special treat...and so far, so good.

    Best to ya...
  • Thanks, Dave. I think you're right, coffee isn't coffee anymore when it's pared down this much. It is a good liquid...and I know exactly what you mean about a treat...that's a good way to do it. I think tea is going to be my thing this winter. I'll see how it goes.
  • Merci
    I find that my morning cup is pretty good with 1/2 packet of Splenda and a little bit of whole milk (though I much prefer Half and Half or cream). But without caffeine??? No way!
  • Yeah, Merci, I think it's over. I've been caffeine free for a couple of years...so it's pretty useless.
  • Rich Mennenoh
    Funny, I switched to tea many years ago, but I weakened this year and went back to having a couple of cups in the morning. You speak the truth, fully caffeinated + sugar and milk does = pure joy.

    Good Luck
  • Rich, some day, when I'm old and worn out and don't care anymore, I'm going to test drive caffeinated coffee with half-and-half plus a spoonful of real sugar. I'm going to look forward to that day. Meanwhile...I'll try tea for a while...lets see what happens. I fell like I'm giving up one thing at a time. Death of a thousand cuts.
  • God. Giving up caffeine is tough. Too tough. I would kill someone. Anyone. I need it for there to be peace.

    I figure there is about 3 thin people inside of me.
  • Pinky Bear, you and me both. I'm holding them down with chocolate cake!
  • You can have my coffee cup when you pry it out of my cold dead hands!
  • Pax, that's about how I felt when I went off the caffeine. It hurt...I felt like going all Charleton Heston, too.
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