Thoughts

1. In the time it takes Chuck Norris to deliver a roundhouse kick, Jason Bourne can read and recall the entire Moscow city map, drive a Husquevarna up stairs, through a house, and elbow chop Chuck to death.
2. If Chuck Norris reaches in and pulls out Jason Bourne’s heart, Jason twists Chuck’s arm into a pretzel, fashions sutures out of a paperclip, and makes Chuck sew his heart back in with a Mayo Clinic stich with his good arm while he elbow chops Chuck to death.
3. Chuck Norris wears Jason Bourne pajamas to bed because he heard if you did that then Jason Bourne wouldn’t elbow chop you to death.
4. If Jason Bourne and Chuck Norris were having hand-to-hand combat in a Lada while racing down the streets of Prague, Jason could not only double-shift hundreds of times, avoid being t-boned at intersections, and drive better than the car chase in the French Connection, but he would elbow chop Chuck Norris to death.
5. Jason Bourne issued an ultimatum to Chuck Norris: Use your tears to *really* cure cancer or I’ll come to Texas and elbow chop you to death.
6. How does Jason Bourne tenderize his Chuck roast? He elbow chops it to death.
7. Chuck Norris might know the exact location of Carmen San Diego, but Jason Bourne knows the exact location of Chuck Norris, information he will use to elbow chop him to death when he so chooses.
8. When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn’t walk around people. He walks through them. That’s because Jason Bourne has cleared a path for him by elbow chopping to death anyone who gets in his way.
9. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. But to his disappointment, Jason Bourne then elbow chopped him to death.
10. Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy. Jason Bourne then got justice by elbow chopping Chuck Norris to death.

I look forward to Sundays, because that’s the day that PostSecret posts a new batch of super revealing postcards. That’s why I was dazzled today when I saw that Frank Warren(yep, another Frank) created a PostSecret movie. If you have 3 minutes, it’s well worth watching. And if you haven’t read PostSecret, spend an hour looking through the postcards. Amazing stuff.

UPDATE: I guess they’re preparing to sell a book, so they broke all the back links. I’m not sure why they would do that and I’ll hunt around for some links for you. Regardless, the movie is still worth looking at, and I’d subscribe to the RSS feed. At least you get 20 new ones a week. Very interesting, even if they broke their site on purpose to drive book sales. Vive, Adam Smith!

UPDATE 2: Hah! Here’s a Flickr set with a *ton* of PostSecret postcards. Start here first!

Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
–Oscar Wilde

I’ve been remiss for a long time, not pointing to brilliant stories out there. Here are a few of my recent favorites:

Bullet and the Gun. This brilliant essay on The Life of Pinky Bear is a compelling look at a variation on “There but for the grace of God go I.” Look at this paragraph from the essay:

As we move on in our long march towards wherever we are headed, we must remind ourselves there’s a line in us all that can propel us towards destruction or trying to achieve something better. We try to hold on and do the best we can do. But, don’t divorce yourself from the fact that we are all one step away from our own destructive nature shielded by whatever upbringing we had, what knowledge we hold and how much we want to survive coupled with what we are willing and capable of doing. After all, are we not the most dangerous creatures on earth?

The Impossible Dream. Mark’s the best headline writer in blogdom. Honestly, if I was going to start a blog compilation of the Top 10 Blog Headlines of All Time, I have to believe that headlines from The Long Cut would dominate that list. The Impossible Dream is about how life is what happens when we’re making other plans.

1st Black and White Roll. Albert’s photos knock me out. We have five of them framed in our office, and I could fill the place with them. His first B&W roll is stunning. Look at the tension in the picture of the playground. You can read his writings at Philly, and see his photos at Dragonballyee. Spend some time there.

My First Armani. Ubermensch at 48Facets is stylin’. So’s his writing. His “The Joys of Sex — Much Better Than Air Travel” would make the headlines list.

To the Mouthbreathers at AutoAdmit. There’s uncorking on idiots, and then there’s really doing it right. JGH lets go on the little geek boys in a grownup way. Jessica Gold Haralson has one of the coolest jobs in the world. Albert, I think, used to work for these guys too. Go check out her site to see what she does. It takes some nerve.

Sitting on the Sidewalk with a Stranger from Georgia. Here’s a story about doing something right, and Marisa of Apartment 2024 does it in spades. Ubermench would give her a special award for this one, I’m sure. You can also see her on Fork You and read even more at the Reading Terminal Market Story Project.

Witching (and Wizarding) Hour. Merci got the full HP treatment at her first midnight trip to the mall. And, she has A Room Somewhere, because she’s in her new house.

Not the Swiftest Family Around These Parts. “Why the hell are we spelling in front of an infant?” just cracks me up. Maidink talks about Life, Family, et al (and a whole lot more) at her place in a clear, stark, and, (can I say it?) frank voice. Reading Maidy is like reading a female Bukowski, only a tidy Bukowski.

Life Made Monkeys of Us All. There’s something powerful about a man who is known for being calm when all around him is going to hell in a handbasket. In fact, people called it “Pulling a Howard” when things got rough and someone handled it with aplomb. That’s why it surprised the writer of The Smedley Log (and Master Haiku-ist) when he reacted. Really great, introspective writing. I, myself, have never been known to “Pull a Howard.” “Pulling a Frank” usually means going off like a volcano.

That’s Mr. Microphone to You! Tony at MereCat, one cool cat, just cracked me up with his take on “I’ll be back to pick you up later.” Really eclectic and intelligent writing at MC, and I’m always happy when it pops up on my Google Reader.

The Girl With the Pink Scooter & Scissors. Talk about coincidences, wow. And a couple of great haircuts happened in the offing. Jeff writes about a very interesting life in Asheville (where I’d love to retire) in Phidoux: Chasing squirrels in the land of the sky.

8am Avalon NJ Beach. Jessica’s Journal is a great example of super writing coupled with super photography. Pictures tell the story, and Jessica does it with style. She’s spending the summer at the beach. I would love to do that some summer.

Things I Can Write Only Because I’m Black. David Dylan Thomas, besides having the coolest name in blogging, is one heckuva writer and film maker. After you get done cracking up at “Things I Can Write…” take a few minutes and watch “Do the Bobblehead Thing.”

Scoble Unwittingly Sums Up What Is Wrong with A List Bloggers. Scott talks about the geographical echo chamber and points out that great things are happening in Philly. Blankbaby is witty and smart, plus he’s the “most influential blogger in Philadelphia.”

Finally for today, just watch ForkYou. These guys are gonna be famous one day. They are already founding members of The Rittenhouse Roundtable.

Man, I love this place. I have more to share with you. These articles really got me going in the last few weeks.

UPDATE: Or, How Can I Be Such a Bonehead? More friends.

Sunday Night Blues. Heck, I’m a member of the Pax Family Singers. What was I doing not remarking about this up front? Pax always is so good about capturing the moment. This article is about what Sunday feels like. And it’s not always happy. But Pax makes us all happy.

Moonrise. Moni is a photographer, writer, knitter, librarian, and itinerant hiker. I like following Blatherskite. Heck, I even like saying the name.

Okay, I feel better. Sorry, my friends.

I love the quiet of Sunday mornings when the only ones up are me and the birds.