I’m officially claiming the title of The Fittest Fat Man in Philly. Throw down, my endomorphic brethren.
I just went to my first comprehensive physical in…10 years. I got blood work and man, I hate to say it – okay, I had to pee in a cup a week before. I wasn’t holding out hope that my lab work would be great. Even though I finally gave up burgers this year, I was thinking the accumulation of all that beef wasn’t gonna be good on Frankie’s heart.
The first sign that things were going well is when I got my blood pressure taken. 118/80. The male nurse then took my resting pulse. 67 bpm. Then he said, “I want to check that blood pressure again. That seems too good.” He checked. 120/80. Um, that would be known as ideal.
My lab work was great. My cholesterol was 169. Great. Same with liver function, thyroid, kidneys, heart enzymes.
My doctor said, “You’re a boring patient.” I said, “Yeah, it’s cruel, ice cream and burgers, and I get the good numbers.” He said, “I’ve had 110 lb. women in here who do yoga five days a week and they’re the ones with high cholesterol and blood pressure. It’s just good genetics for you.”
I’ll go with good genetics, because even though I’m The Fittest Fat Man in Philly, I probably don’t deserve the title. At least the “Fittest” part. But I’ll thank my lucky stars.
The only downside about all that medical mirth? I don’t get to convince myself that I’m dying of the latest disease from the ABC Movie of the Week.
You Knew This Had to Happen
Throwing Down Our Gang Signs
The Serious Shot
Sheryl With the Boys
The Whole Family
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This is a very good thing. Let’s see how long that steel-trap memory remembers this. I am guessing that you will be dying of a hang nail or something within a week.
Mighty fine cholesterol numbers for the former Mr. Cheesburger. And a BP of 120/80 – you must of mellowed.
The Tuna
Sarah, did I mention that I once thought I had deep vein thrombosis from sitting on the train too much? My doc told me back then that I was a knucklehead.
Tuna, how about that, buddy? I’m not sure I’m any calmer, but my BP is good. A boy has to get it under control at some point.
Great that you are fit and healthy! Keep it up!
Pinky Bear, I know you’ve taken on a new health initiative. Maybe we should create our own move to Fit in Philly. Could work. I’m happy about my test results, but there’s still a lot I should do, starting with less ice cream.
Yup, we are cut from the same cloth.
I usually get decent numbers when I have a physical, and I sort of just nod my head when the doc says, “Great job!” hoping he won’t see the pack of cigs in my shirt pocket or notice the donut crumbs in my beard!
Three Cheers to you! Some day when we are old toothless men, we’ll be glad we survived … on second thought, maybe not.
Pax, we were born at at a good time, I guess. I had that same feeling about the donut crumbs when my doc was giving me the “all clear.” Funny.
We can sit on a rocking porch together and talk about young whippersnappers.
There is nothing better than good news about your health. Happy for you, Frank!