I’ll Never Make It as a Driving Instructor

Matt turned 16 at the end of July. And you know what that means: Driver’s license.

I’m a Terrible Driving Instructor
He got his permit about a month ago. In Pennsylvania, 16-year-olds have to drive for half a year and at least 50 hours before they can get their license. I’m not sure I’ll last that long. It’s not because Matt’s a bad driver — he’s really not bad — but it’s because I’m a terrible driving instructor. In fact, “terrible” wouldn’t quite capture how bad I am.

I’m a Very Good Driver
You see, I’m a very good driver. *Cue Rain Main voice.* I’ve been driving since I was 12. No kidding. My dad was a cop and he taught me to drive when I was 12. Since my dad worked all the time, he needed someone to run little errands, like buy bread and milk for our huge family. When we moved out to the Middle of Nowhere when I was 13, I was driving daily. (Kids, don’t try this at home. I was a pee-wee and could barely see over the steering wheel of our Buick 225.) And now I’ve been driving for 35 years. I’ve done pretty well.

Driving as a Calculus Lesson
Driving looks easy on the surface. But in reality, it’s a continuous series of little decisions and movements. None of which should be herky-jerky. It’s calculus, and you slice your little course corrections and moves into the tiniest sections when you do it well. Good driving is smooth and a thing of beauty. But it ain’t when you’re first learning.

I don’t know how to teach Matt to drive. I’m too jumpy. I’m thinking too much and forgetting what it’s like to be at the start. I’ve been driving so long I don’t remember what it’s like not to drive. It’s what academics call The Curse of Knowledge. These two pictures tell the story:

The Way It Really Is — Matt Drives Fine
Jeep Fine

The Way I See It — We’re One Step Away from Disaster
Jeep Stuck

So, the driving instruction is up to Sheryl. She’s calmer. She’s more coaching; I’m more bitching. Any of you have advice for me? (At this point I’m banned from driver’s instruction until I can STFU.)

Posted on August 30, 2007
Filed Under Frank's World, Kids | Comments

Comments

  • tami
    Ah Frank, welcome to the world of teenage drivers. My advice, don't move back to IL, as they allow the permits at 15! (We're "Driving with Miss Jordan":) In Iowa the age is 14 but I know you won't move there...LOL.

    On a personal note, I've had trouble getting some e-mails to you, are you sporting a new e-mail address with your new blog?

    Hi to the Roche's, stay buckled up!
  • Bill Strahan
    This is my real advice:

    Go back and watch Star Wars (episode 4?) and watch Yoda train Luke in the swamp.

    Be like Yoda.
  • Steve
    Not only that Frank, but Sheryl has the Mottet gift for the sharp breath intake that will keep them free from all accidents as well!

    I can't imagine driving lessons...we've just now begun to let Ben sit in the front seat...driving lessons are only three years away.

    Good luck and safe driving for all of you!!
  • Tami, OMG, I couldn't even imagine. My nerves are not that great as it is. I'm a bad backseat driver even when Sheryl is driving. Really great to see you here...wanna come over and give some driving lessons? My email address is frank.roche@frankroche.com (plus about 6 other variations, but that one works). Sorry I didn't get email from you. I always like that.

    Bill, I am starting to look like Yoda, so maybe I should start acting like him. I am going to watch that swamp scene today. I need to recalibrate, and that's good instruction. Thanks!
  • Being the "calm" one in my family I taught our son to drive. I put in 97% of the 50 hours. It was not easy and there were many temper tantrums-- split 50/50 between me and him.

    Since it does seem easy on the surface, teenagers boys in particular, assume they know more than they do. I saw it as my responsibility to make sure he did not kill or injure innocents, him or me. Therefore, I considered the the words "Do it this this way because I said so" to be absolutely fair if not essential.

    Bill, aren't your kids younger? Just wait and see if you can emulate Yoda when it's your turn.
  • Steve, you got that right...Sheryl has used that sharp breath technique with me many times. Yikes! Maybe that's why I'm a good driver...lol. Yes, I never fancied myself a good and patient teacher...and this driving instruction is proving it to me in spades.
  • Rick, I think that's the essence...it's a 4,500 lb vehicle...a killing machine. And overestimating ability is the worst sin. I think that it's essential that "do it my way because I said so" is the benefit of years of driving. But my method for saying that is flawed...I'm working on taking a breath...I need to do that...I just don't want to take a breath and then bump into a car with a resulting $4,000 bill for repairs. Cars are bigger than they seem...and bumping them costs LOTS.
  • Oh, Frank. It is hard letting go. :-)
  • Pinky Bear, you're so right.
  • Bill Strahan
    My kids are younger. I am hoping that by the time they are driving its all going to be Jetsons air scooters.
  • Man, I so wanted a Jetson's air scooter...I still do.
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