Matt turned 16 at the end of July. And you know what that means: Driver’s license.
I’m a Terrible Driving Instructor
He got his permit about a month ago. In Pennsylvania, 16-year-olds have to drive for half a year and at least 50 hours before they can get their license. I’m not sure I’ll last that long. It’s not because Matt’s a bad driver — he’s really not bad — but it’s because I’m a terrible driving instructor. In fact, “terrible” wouldn’t quite capture how bad I am.
I’m a Very Good Driver
You see, I’m a very good driver. *Cue Rain Main voice.* I’ve been driving since I was 12. No kidding. My dad was a cop and he taught me to drive when I was 12. Since my dad worked all the time, he needed someone to run little errands, like buy bread and milk for our huge family. When we moved out to the Middle of Nowhere when I was 13, I was driving daily. (Kids, don’t try this at home. I was a pee-wee and could barely see over the steering wheel of our Buick 225.) And now I’ve been driving for 35 years. I’ve done pretty well.
Driving as a Calculus Lesson
Driving looks easy on the surface. But in reality, it’s a continuous series of little decisions and movements. None of which should be herky-jerky. It’s calculus, and you slice your little course corrections and moves into the tiniest sections when you do it well. Good driving is smooth and a thing of beauty. But it ain’t when you’re first learning.
I don’t know how to teach Matt to drive. I’m too jumpy. I’m thinking too much and forgetting what it’s like to be at the start. I’ve been driving so long I don’t remember what it’s like not to drive. It’s what academics call The Curse of Knowledge. These two pictures tell the story:
The Way It Really Is — Matt Drives Fine
The Way I See It — We’re One Step Away from Disaster
So, the driving instruction is up to Sheryl. She’s calmer. She’s more coaching; I’m more bitching. Any of you have advice for me? (At this point I’m banned from driver’s instruction until I can STFU.)
