by Frank Roche on October 18, 2007
in Kids
Here’s a titillating title: If Not for Your Kids, Would You Be Dancing In Rio? It would be tempting to answer, “Hell, yeah!” but it’s not even close to accurate. First, I can’t dance (unless you call flailing around “dancing”). Second, I’ve really enjoyed my kids. The money we invest in college is peanuts compared to the full life we’ve had with them.
Last night Matt was sitting downstairs with us and talked about potential colleges. He’s an excellent student, he disciplined, and he’s determined. He’s got a top-notch GPA and wants to go to law school. We looked through a cool website that helps students (Matt’s 16 and a junior in high school) select schools that fit them. He’s looking a very good schools (big city or town is what he wants) and that makes me happy. What makes me even happier is when I kinda smartassedly said to him, “You know, college isn’t all about drinking beer. You’re going to have to get grades to get into law school.” And without a pause he said, “I know, Dad, I’ll get straight A’s in college, too.” Just like that.
That kid’s gonna make it. And as parents, what more could we ask for?
by Frank Roche on October 14, 2007
in Kids
Steve: “I’m going to speak 15 languages fluently.”
Me: “That’s fantastic. You’re already well on your way. Your French is great. Now you’re studying Chinese, your friend’s parents speak Spanish to you.”
Steve: “Yeah, but I’m not that motivated in school. What I mean is that I’m not focused on academic subjects.”
Me: “You’re young. You do great in school — an ‘A’ student. But you are motivated by languages. That’s just fantastic.”
Me (to myself): “What kind of pressure must I put on him to make him think that it’s only math, science, and English that matter?”
Me (to Steve): “Do what you love and success will follow.”
Me (to myself): “Show him that you mean it.”
by Frank Roche on October 11, 2007
in Kids, Sports
What is is about a last second victory that’s just so much more satisfying? A win’s a win after all, isn’t it? Not in my book.
I guess it’s that fantasy that little boys have that goes something like, “Frankie’s up in the bottom of the ninth. The bases are loaded and there are two outs. His team’s down by 3. The count’s 3 and 2. Here’s the pitch. He hits it. It’s flying – back, back, back. It’s outta there.” I never even came close to doing something like that, but I thought about it.
Yesterday, Steve’s high school soccer team won a hard-fought game with goal in the last 10 seconds. Fabulous. It would have been a good win at 2-1, but to score with seconds to go is just so dang exciting. My brother-in-law Steve (not the son, Steve) wrote this comment a few weeks ago that I think captures the last second victory in its exquisite essence:
Your nephew Ben had the key play for his 6th grade team on Saturday morning. With less than 2:00 to go in the game and the opponents pinned deep in their own territory he stripped the ball from the opposing QB and rumbled into the end zone (OK so it was only a couple of yards) for the only score of the game. The crowd went wild, his mother cried and he was mobbed by his team. Lynda’s reaction was a little delayed since they are all about the same size and are wearing helmets. But when the mob cleared from the end zone here came #2 (a defensive lineman with the number 2)…jumping up and down and getting high fives from everybody.
Without a doubt it is one of the coolest things in the world to see your child succeed through their own hard work and determination in what ever their endeavor they have chosen and to have that success recognized by someone other than their parents.
I’d still like to be up in the bottom of the ninth with the game on the line.
by Frank Roche on September 2, 2007
in Kids
I think I just found manna from Munich: The BMW Teen Driving School. As you know, I’m not much of a driving instructor. But at the BMW Performance Driving School, they have real professional instructors who don’t tear their hair out when a teen driver goes too fast around a corner. Here’s what’s going to keep the remainder of the gray hairs on my head:
One-Day Teen School
Run before you walk? Yes, at the BMW Performance Driving School, new drivers get an opportunity to learn and experience a wide range of driving conditions, from panic stops to loss of tire grip on a wet skidpad—all in a controlled environment under the close supervision of BMW Driver Training Instructors. Feedback and correction are immediate. Going well beyond the tuition offered in most driver’s education programs, our exercises are real world scenarios in practice. Students must be at least 15 years of age and possess a valid learner’s permit (or equivalent).
Two-Day Teen School
Practice makes perfect. The two-day programs augment the skills learned in the one-day programs by adding more seat time and increasing the complexity of the exercises. In addition, drivers will get a chance to drive a wider array of vehicles from the 3 and 5 Series to the Z4 and SAVs in order to gain a better appreciation of how vehicles of a different size, weight and performance specifications react uniquely to the same conditions.
Yeah, baby. They teach them the stuff that scares the crap out of me — skids, panic stops, etc. As an added bonus, the school is at BMW’s facility in Spartanburg, SC. We used to live in that area, so we know our way around. Plus, it’s easy to get to . I’m going to see if Sheryl and Matt want to make a mother-son bonding trip — and let Matt skid those new BMWs all over their test track. It could be really great. Especially since the words “skid” and “Frank” don’t appear in the same sentence. I do think that this course would be just the thing for a new driver. Or even an old one.
BMW also offers some really cool driver’s courses as well. Check out their site, Relearn to Drive. It’s a really comical. (My dad was the bottom-center guy: As long as you’re driving in my car you’ll abide by my rules. I’m afraid I’m a caricature of my dad.) I’d like to try one of those driving course myself one day. I’m sure Matt would say turnabout is fair play.
Matt turned 16 at the end of July. And you know what that means: Driver’s license.
I’m a Terrible Driving Instructor
He got his permit about a month ago. In Pennsylvania, 16-year-olds have to drive for half a year and at least 50 hours before they can get their license. I’m not sure I’ll last that long. It’s not because Matt’s a bad driver — he’s really not bad — but it’s because I’m a terrible driving instructor. In fact, “terrible” wouldn’t quite capture how bad I am.
I’m a Very Good Driver
You see, I’m a very good driver. *Cue Rain Main voice.* I’ve been driving since I was 12. No kidding. My dad was a cop and he taught me to drive when I was 12. Since my dad worked all the time, he needed someone to run little errands, like buy bread and milk for our huge family. When we moved out to the Middle of Nowhere when I was 13, I was driving daily. (Kids, don’t try this at home. I was a pee-wee and could barely see over the steering wheel of our Buick 225.) And now I’ve been driving for 35 years. I’ve done pretty well.
Driving as a Calculus Lesson
Driving looks easy on the surface. But in reality, it’s a continuous series of little decisions and movements. None of which should be herky-jerky. It’s calculus, and you slice your little course corrections and moves into the tiniest sections when you do it well. Good driving is smooth and a thing of beauty. But it ain’t when you’re first learning.
I don’t know how to teach Matt to drive. I’m too jumpy. I’m thinking too much and forgetting what it’s like to be at the start. I’ve been driving so long I don’t remember what it’s like not to drive. It’s what academics call The Curse of Knowledge. These two pictures tell the story:
The Way It Really Is — Matt Drives Fine
The Way I See It — We’re One Step Away from Disaster
So, the driving instruction is up to Sheryl. She’s calmer. She’s more coaching; I’m more bitching. Any of you have advice for me? (At this point I’m banned from driver’s instruction until I can STFU.)
